Never a Dahl Moment - Part 1

Man Gets Dahl

Much has been said over the years in our family regarding Rudolph's involvement with Arlene Dahl. In fact, her name was often brought up his various spouses, with a certain look and then a flip, "Oh well, you were always really in love with Arlene Dahl. That's who you'd really rather be with, wouldn't you...?"

This would invariably be followed by the swift and reassuring, "Sweetie, don't be ridiculous...." But no matter which "Sweetie" he was referring to, they all knew that Miss Dahl had been far from dull.

So who was this woman who had such a hold on dear old Dad? I first heard her name mentioned at the ripe old age of 6 or 7, and then on through the years at regular predictable intervals. I heard her mentioned across regimes, across counties and continents. Her name came up in bad times, in good times, and sometimes, just when were were all driving around looking for a restaurant. It was amazing how the search for decent Chinese could lead to another Dahl moment.

INT. CAR - SUNSET BLVD. - NIGHT

Me: Daddy, can we get Chinese tonight?

R: Might be a bit dull.....

Iris: You see, you've never gotten over Arlene Dahl, have you?

Hundreds of references, just like these, but no one ever had the patience to get me a photo of the Siren of Sunset Blvd. Indeed, with the exception of a glimpse of an old movie late at night, a proper visual image of the captivating Miss Dahl was not available, and for years, she remained an elusive spectre of romantic ruin. Each time her name would creep into a conversation, I would secretly wonder whether, were she to suddenly materialize, Rudolph would toss caution to the wind and drive off with his Dahl into the sunset.

To this day, the facts of their involvement remain a mystery. My mother and stepmother, when queried, were probably so exasperated with the whole thing that they would just shake their heads and say, "Well, your father always liked redheads...." The details, therefore, were left to my imagination....which was enhanced by the thought that good old Fernando (who she left for Rudolph) was jealous and desperate to get her back. I imagined him tucked into a dark booth at Hernando's Hideaway, reading the New York Times social columns, and stewing silently. Nacho crumbs and beer bottles litter the table. "Chee guaz may Dahl!"

I imagined Rudy and Arlene, snuggling cozily in a dark booth at El Morocco, ditching reporters at "21", zipping out to the Coast on the Superchief, hiding out in bungalows at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

EXT. B.H. HOTEL POOL - DAY

Arlene slips into shades and slinks into a poolside cabana. Rudy is waiting there, typing a poem.

A: Rudy, darling, I simply have to get away...away from this town...from these people...from all the producers who want to hire me for ungodly sums of money to star in their films, all those ad men who want to put my face on magazines to sell cold cream. (shudder)

No reaction. Rudolph mutters to his muse.

R: Oh waitress fair, with bleach-ed hair, annoint me with a hambur-guerre....

A: Rudy...Rudy....why are you typing? We're in a cabana, by the pool. You're supposed to be lounging. Rudy? Rudy....! Haven't you heard a word I've said?

But why did she leave the dashing heir to a musical fortune? I mean, that's nothing to sneeze at. Once, an acquaintance casually mentioned that Arlene thought Rudy too young, too artistic, too wrapped up in his imagination to really accomplish anything in the world. And Sr. Lamas, who was he? Cornelius Vanderbilt? Face it, the youthful, intellectual, Eastern boy was no match for (flash of castanets) the dashing Romeo from Rancho Rito. CUT TO: Hernando's Hideway. A darkened booth. Lamas smooching with his senorita. "Der ees no bees-ness laik cho bees-ness!"

Or maybe Rudolph's mother, the formidable Mrs. Benkard, did not take kindly to movie stars. But wait, she too had her moment in the footlights. But maybe that moment paled in comparison to Miss Dahl's stellar achievements. Mee-oowww!

Whatever the reason, the delightful Miss Dahl took off for greener pastures, leaving her Rudolph to the likes of my "madre" and the rest is history. I will say that years....I mean years...later, the divine Miss D was invited to dine with us at 555 Park. You can imagine the shock to see the real deal dining in our co-op. I chatted with her regarding her place in the family, a fact which she found to be highly amusing!

Thankfully, the internet has provided a wealth of material with which to examine the Rudy and Arlene story (just the facts, ma'am!) in an objective manner, via the social columns of the day (refer to later blogs). Now, finally, a day by day, minute by minute account of R and A's romance.

But wait...could it have been one-sided all these years? One couldn't help but wonder whether all of her boyfriends, husbands, ex-husbands, etc. had the same conversation in reverse. "Oh Arlene, face it, you've always been in love with Rudy, haven't you?" To which she would toss her chemically enhanced flaming red curls and say, cryptically, "Whatever do you mean by that, Fernando?"

Well, Rudy and Arlene spent a couple of cozy years together and then...well...he spent about 40 other cozy years trying to live it down. So much for the girl that got away!

In fitting tribute, I offer up the following tidbit only recently unearthed from a long-forgotten society rag....

Society Secrets

By Holly Rickenbacker

....The word on the street is that Rudy and Arlene (that handsome bi-costal couple), broke up last week after a spat at the Havana Madrid. The next morning, Arlene was scene smooching her ex-amor, "Love Em And Leave Em Lamas", in the back of a cab. Can you say, "Besame mucho?" Before he could say, "Manana", Rudy rang up a Costa Rican cutie he ran into at the April in Paris Ball and I'd be willing to bet ready money that those two will be hurrying to Havana before you can say Ole!......